“At least I got a man”

I got a man…” Every time I hear these words I cringe. Something goes off on the inside of me as I wonder what type of impact this comment has on the minds of both young and seasoned women.   Although usually said in a playful tone, there is an underlining belief beneath those words… “There must be something wrong with you.” These words leave emptiness at the inner core of many women and girls.  We live in a society that places more emphasis on couples than singles.  In fact, helping singles find a relationship has become a lucrative business. Don’t get me wrong, I love the institution of marriage and all that comes with having a soul mate.  What bothers me are the subliminal messages that says being single is somehow a handicap that puts one at a disadvantage. Being single does not mean damaged, broken, lonely or needy.  Allow me to take a moment to encourage all singles, young and matured to embrace every stage in your life, love yourself, get to know yourself, and get to know the gifts you bring to this world.  Don’t rush into a relationship thinking it will complete you and make you happy. You are already complete and I suggest you find your happiness before you get into a relationship. Take your time and wait for what you desire.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t make any adjustments to your expectations of a mate, but continuous compromising leads to settling and long-term unhappiness.  I can tell you from experience there is no worst place to be than in an unhappy relationship. The loneliness felt in a bad marriage will exceed any type of loneliness you experience being single. So, don’t allow society to tell you what you need to be worthy.

Also, contrary to what some may think, just because you haven’t crossed paths with your soul mate doesn’t mean you can’t advise or help those who are experiencing challenges in their relationships. The insights you have to offer others and the world at large is not determined by a man or the lack of one in your life.

Now that you know how I feel, I would love to hear your thoughts. Share your comments below.